


After-action Reports

by General_Zargon



Category: Stray Dog (Webcomic)
Genre: Coffee runs are dangerous, Cupcakes, Gen, Happy Halloween!, Humor, Werewolves being snarky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-27 00:14:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12569360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/General_Zargon/pseuds/General_Zargon
Summary: Sometimes bad luck is good luck in disguise. After once again getting caught in a Karat's rampage, Aki and Toru need to give a statement, which actually goes better than expected.OR:In which Tarot and Aki snark at each other, Toru is Chill, and the way to Tarot's hearts is through his stomach.





	After-action Reports

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: At long last, I finally put the metaphorical pen to paper and started writing this idea. This is the first story in this fandom, I think, so I hope I manage to do the characters for this amazing series justice by not mangling them too badly. :) This story also functions as an introduction for an OC I might use in later stories, but he isn't the focus.
> 
> Disclaimer: Stray Dog belongs to VanRah, and I highly recommend it. I was kindly given permission by the author to play around with these characters and world, for which they have my deepest gratitude.

Aokideso Tsubaki groaned loudly, turning to stifle a whimper against Toru's shoulder as she inwardly lamented how they had gotten caught up in something to do with an out-of-control Karat  _again_.

The Alpha Lycan didn't say anything, just reached up to pat her back in a comforting 'there, there' motion. He knew exactly how she was feeling, because cursed Black Alpha lineage or not, this was getting ridiculous. Somehow, they always seem to be in the wrong place at the wrong time when a Karat goes on a rampage. He wouldn't be surprised if the BIRD (Bureau of Investigation, Research, and Defense) had a form for their involvement just to save paperwork.

Both human and Lycan were in Kazuweirdo's ("That's Kazuhiro!") office waiting for someone to show up and take their statement, the CEO absent as he dealt with the press. They were sitting in chairs that had been dragged in from another office and pushed close together, Aki leaning against Toru and resisting the urge to curl up and take a nap. Only the stiffness that would result from the uncomfortable position stopped her. She was worn out, hiding a yawn against the back of her hand and blinking rapidly to stay awake. The soft patting on her back didn't help her in the battle against sleep, but it felt  _so_  good that she had no intention of asking him to stop.

"We have terrible luck, don't we?" Toru's deep voice had her opening eyes she hadn't been aware of closing, and she yawned as she struggled back upright, fighting back the vestiges of slumber.

Toru's shoulder was a lot more comfortable than she remembered it being, Aki blearily thought before the question registered and she groaned resignedly, "I swear, all I wanted was a chocolate mocha! I have no clue why things like this keep happening to us!" Her voice rose into a faint whine at the end of her speech, and she pressed her face more firmly against Toru as he made an agreeing noise.

Silence descended, only to be broken a minute later when someone spoke up cheerfully, "Well, that's a relief," and both turned their heads towards the doorway. The source of the voice was a young man who looked to be in his early to mid-twenties, his shoulder-length dark brown hair looking like a combination of severely windblown and a horrible case of bedhead. It seemed rather soft despite the messy appearance, and Aki was kind of envious of the fact that he still somehow managed to look good with that unfortunate hairstyle. His eyes were light brown, a bit darker than true hazel, and at the moment dancing with amusement as he walks around to stand in front of the seated duo.

He was short for a man, only around five foot five and yet _still_ taller than her, Aki notes sourly, feeling more than hearing Toru's soft chuckle from her place leaning on him. To be fair, her sulking expression probably did look funny, so she magnanimously decided to ignore his quiet mirth.

Dressed in a standard BIRD uniform that for some reason didn't seem to fit properly even though it looked like the correct size. Carrying a clipboard under one arm and looking faintly uncomfortable in the outfit, he nevertheless seemed friendly as he introduced himself, "My name is Masashima Tsuga, I'll be taking your statement today." A pause, and then as an afterthought he added, "And no, saying 'this day sucked' does not count as giving a statement, for all that it might be true." His voice might have been carefully neutral, but the twitching of his lips gave away his amusement and just like that, the ice was broken.

Toru snorted, the Alpha smirking as Aki burst into surprised laughter, tears forming at the corners of her eyes as she doubled over from the force of her mirth. Collapsing against Toru's side as her chortles faded to mixture of giggles and hiccups, she reached up to brush the moisture from her eyes, grinning as she felt the tremors from the Lycan's own silent laughing start to subside.

If Aki's laughter had a tinge of hysteria in it, well, the two males tactfully didn't mention it as she calmed down.

A minute later, Aki sighed contently, "Ah, thanks, I needed that," she smiled, turning so she could face Tsuga while keeping one side of her body pressed against Toru.

"No problem," Tsuga nodded, smiling back as he held his clipboard and a pen at the ready, "Shall we get started?"

Both Lycan and human shrugged in unison, Toru asking sardonically, "Are you _sure_ that 'this day sucked' doesn't count? Because that's pretty much what happened."

"Sorry, no can do," and to his credit, the man seemed genuinely apologetic as he shrugged, "After the fifth time Tarot turned in an official report with just that sentence, a rule was made to spare the clerks the trauma of tracking him down to try and get an actual report out of him and the BIRD from having to shell out for hazard pay and medical bills."

Aki laughed so hard she fell out of her chair. Toru smirked.

That definitely sounded like something the Omega would do.

* * *

Once Aki once again got her laughter under control, the three got down to business, the Lycan and pink-haired human describing the sequence of events that led them to getting caught up in a BIRD mission and the brown-haired man filling in the appropriate spaces on the forms.

("So I should put your reason for being there as 'went to get a mocha'?"

"Yep."

"Huh. Who knew going to get coffee could cause this much trouble?"

"I know, right?!")

It was just as Aki was describing the part where Tarot had gotten thrown through a shop window and how it had taken almost five minutes for him to emerge from a pile of lingerie that her story was interrupted by a loud snort.

"That is not what happened!" Kiba Tarot refuted, walking in and glaring at the pink-haired girl, who 'eep'ed and tried to take cover behind Toru. "First of all, it wasn't that kind of store, second of all, it barely took me a minute to get out from under those aluminum cans! And I would have been faster if those shelves hadn't collapsed on me!" He explained, "Geez, no wonder you're failing school with a memory this bad!"

Aki bristled, practically hissing as she exclaimed, "My memory is excellent, thank you! You're just a lousy teacher!"

"What was that, sample?!"

Ignoring the argument going on next to him, Toru raised an eyebrow when he saw Tsuga calmly jotting down notes on his clipboard. "You seem used to this," he commented, because it was true, the brunet didn't even seem to notice when the quarrel degenerated to name-calling and insults. He just kept writing like he didn't hear the arguing pair start shouting or see Aki climb up on her chair so she could yell at Tarot from eye-level.

Since this wasn't the first time his Kihei had abused a piece of furniture (the time that she'd gotten him to help glue all of the furniture in his BIRD-issued apartment to the ceiling to fuck with people's heads came to mind), he tuned out the excess noise as the man looked up with a grin.

"Yeah, I've worked with Tarot before, so I don't let his attitude get to me. Not to mention he's mellowed a lot since I joined BIRD," Tsuga said, signing his name on the bottom of the last form with a small flourish.

"A scary thought," Toru noted, and Tsuga hummed in agreement.

Tarot broke away from telling Aki exactly how badly she was doing in his classes long enough to protest, "I'm not that bad!"

" _Yes you are/were_." Humans and Lycan chorused.

"Assholes." Tarot grumbled.

Aki opened her mouth, doubtlessly about to insult the tall male and thus get a lower grade than usual, then paused she wondered out loud as she climbed down from the chair, "What are you doing here? I thought all BIRD Division Commanders were required to submit their after-action reports to the CEO." And, as hard as it was to believe, Tarot actually was in charge of a division of BIRD, an important one too.

Tarot waved a negligent hand, brushing off the question as he turned his head towards Tsuga, "Miru said to invite you over for dinner. Bring dessert."

A pause.

"...Did she actually say to bring dessert?"

"....No. Do it anyway." Was the response.

Deciding that there really wasn't anything he could say to that, the brunet shrugged and nodded in agreement. "Okay, I'll bring cupcakes,"

Judging by the pleased smirk on Tarot's face, that was just what he'd been aiming for.

The amiable moment lasted but a minute after that before Aki spoke, sounding rather impressed, "Wow, I think that's the most civil conversation I've heard Tarot have with anyone who wasn't Miru." Toru silently nodded along with his Kihei's words, because yeah, that was very true.

Chuckling as Tarot scowled down at the pair, Tsuga told them cheerfully, "That's because I've won over his heart with delicious baked goods!"

It should be noted that the Omega didn't deny it, and Toru and Aki sniggered under their breath at his 'pretty much' expression as he half-shrugged. "Don't forget the coffee," Tarot deadpanned. "I'm not that easy."

Tsuga nodded solemnly, trying to keep his face straight as he concurred, "It took me two weeks to figure out how you liked it so I could include it with the baked goods, and even then I had to ply you with your favorites for another three before you'd stop glaring at me, so I can testify that it certainly was _not_ easy. Do you know how much I spent on baking supplies?!" He complained not even half-seriously, Aki's giggling turning into a snort mid-sound as she hurriedly muffled it behind her hand at the mock-aggrieved look Tsuga sported as he shook his head.

Seeming to realize that they'd somehow gotten off-topic, the brunet looked rather sheepish as he turned back towards the seated pair and clapped his hands, "Weeeeeeell, now that that's out of the way, is there anything you left out about how the two of you wound up in the middle of a fight with an ice-flinging spider-woman?"

(" _That is not a sentence I ever thought I'd hear spoken seriously._ "

" _How does that combination even work?_ "

" _Somehow I don't think we want to know._ ")

"Hm, let's see: going to get coffee, the building across the street exploding, having to duck flash-freezing balls of webbing while running for cover, seeing Tarot get his ass kicked by a homicidal spider-lady before Toru stepped in to save the day...nope, those were pretty much the highlights." Aki ticked off, voice as deadpan as possible as she listed the main points of her recounting.

Tick marks appeared on Tarot's forehead, but he restrained himself to merely growling at the girl's nonchalant description. He did not get his ass kicked, he'd been doing just fine until that degenerate mutt cut in!

"Okay then, that should be just about everything. Just need you both to sign here to prove that what is written down is actually what you said before you can head home," Tsuga said, handing Toru the clipboard and pen. It only took a few seconds for the Lycan to scan the report and briskly sign it with a simple 'Toru'. Passing both objects to Aki, it took her a few minutes more to read through everything before she added her signature next to Toru's.

Aki handed everything back to Tsuga, who quickly scanned the documents one last time before smiling and announcing, "Right then, now that everything's in order, any questions before we're done?"

Feeling a bit like she was in school, Aki raised her hand and waited until the brunet looked at her before lowering her hand and asking, "What kind of cupcakes are you making?"

"Chocolate."

"Can Toru and I have some?"

"Sure, I'll make extra."

Then they left. Short and to the point.

* * *

The next day Aki returned from her classes, Toru following close behind in animal form, to find a plain white box in front of her door.

She guessed it was the cupcakes even before Toru took a sniff and confirmed it. Bringing the box inside, she wasted no time in setting it on the table and opening it to reveal over a dozen of the small cakes. A closer look showed that the cupcakes were actually an eclectic mix of chocolate and vanilla kinds, with one or two strawberry flavored thrown in. Apparently Tsuga's definition of 'extra' differed a little from most people's.

Taking a chocolate one for herself and passing Toru a vanilla one when he pointed to it, both peeled the wrapper away from one side and took a bite.

They were delicious.

* * *

Later that day, Tsuga found a thank-you note on his desk, along with a thirty dollar gift-card for food and drinks at a popular cafe. He stared at the familiar handwriting, grinning stupidly for almost three minutes before snapping out of it and looking up thoughtfully.

....Maybe Tarot and Miru would be interested in going with him?


End file.
